• Accountability,  Anxiety,  Appreciation,  Change,  Fitness,  Time,  Transformation

    2 Year Transformation 8/22/18

    #WAYBACKWEDNESDAY 1st day at the gym selfie. (I looked happy right? Lol) I took that photo thinking, “Damn, this is going to take foooooorrrrreeevvvvverrr!” My body was still sore from a C section & not 1 of my friends or family wanted to start a weight loss journey with me. One of my closest friends even “joked” I wouldn’t make it past a month. Got to listen for those light hearted jokes lol I follow a lot of fitness pages & everyone shares their journey online for multiple different reasons. I always look for people that are just starting out & congratulate them on just making the decision to hold…

  • Anxiety,  Appreciation,  Art,  Change,  Fitness,  Interesting,  Mental Health,  Misunderstandings,  Transformation,  Wellness

    “No Filter” September 7, 2018

    I recently read an article on @Elitedaily by @aratagrams on what #filters are creating in the mind for women. It said, “Like every kind of social media, Snapchat is a company with its own agenda. It wants to flatter & persuade you to keep using it, but has no obligation to tell you the truth or take responsibility.” That stood out most to me. A lot of us lack self-care & make it a habit to put a filter on our life. We don’t take control because we can just cover it up. But it’s not easy to cover up low self-esteem. I’ve never had great skin.  Terrible eczema, dry…

  • Anxiety,  Mental Health,  Music

    “I Know Broken Girls”

    From an early age, I knew broken girls; they were everywhere, in my church & at my school. Reaching my teen years, I noticed them at work & even in passing at the grocery store. I could look into their eyes and feel a cry out-especially as a child. Versus seeking attention & being obnoxious they were pretty reserved an introverted, with kind eyes, fake smiles & non-confrontational. Majority of them were pretty easy going & often caught in a daze. They had grown accustomed to feel uncomfortable around sons, older brothers, uncles, deacons, bishops & stepdads before they even had reason to. I used to think if the men…

  • Accountability,  Anxiety,  Change,  Mental Health

    Keratoconus “The Process of Acceptance and Control”

    Fact: The effects of Keratoconus can vary throughout the day, and may be influenced by a variety of factors – such as tiredness, ill health, bright sunlight, lighting & other environmental factors. Most people find it hard to describe exactly what they are seeing to another person. I was diagnosed with Keratoconus at the age of 19. It progressed so soon I had no other option but a cornea transplant. In 2011, my surgeon performed surgery on my right eye. Within a few months I could see better with glasses but still had difficulty seeing out of both eyes. I struggled driving at night and sometimes during the day if the glare…

  • Anxiety,  Mental Health,  Selfdoubt

    “I could’ve been great at Algebra” 2004-2005

    Throughout school, my least favorite subjects were Algebra and Chemistry. I struggled with math since eighth grade and at least once a year I’d win awards like “Most Improved.” I was never proud of them. I used to casually mention to my teacher “Hey, if you happen to have me in mind for this award, let’s just not. Okay?”  She’d say, “What makes you think I’d choose you?” Weeks later the principal’s incorrectly pronouncing my name on stage to present my certificate. I guess she thought by me saying so I really meant the opposite. That totally back fired. Back home (Kansas) if students landed anywhere between 60-69% it was still passing. In…

  • Anxiety,  Mental Health,  Misunderstandings,  Music,  Selfdoubt

    Overflow 2003

    We had a huge 6 disc CD player in our living room. I would turn it on and listen to music while I cleaned the kitchen. It helped that I had my mom’s taste in music. I’d have all of her Body + Soul albums that included artist like Smokey Robinson, Isley Brothers, Gregory Abbott, The O’Jays etc. The other 5 CD’s were artist like Mary J. Blige (Share My World), Rome, Keith Sweat etc. I was in the zone every time. I deep cleaned to the rhythm, basically. I’d stop dancing when he came in from work and find a way to clutter myself in a mess so he’d…

  • Accountability,  Anxiety,  Change,  Fitness,  Mental Health,  Selfdoubt,  Transformation

    1 year Transformation 

    8/22/17! It’s been a year since I started this journey. I’ve been overweight my whole life. I’ve started my weight loss journey over & over since 2010. I could never find balance to keep it off. In 2008, I became ill & lost hearing in both ears. It only returned in one.  2009, I was diagnosed with an eye disease that caused legal blindness. After a while I could no longer see to read, drive at night, attend college, clean my home, put on makeup or even see myself in the mirror. With one ear to hear, conversations were cut short & everything began to fade. So I stayed home & slowly started…

  • Accountability,  Anxiety,  Art,  Change,  Film,  Fitness,  Freakin' Kids,  Interesting,  Mental Health,  Misunderstandings,  Music,  Privilege,  Selfdoubt,  Time,  Transformation,  Trolling,  Vibes

    Welcome!

    If you haven’t had a chance to view Music for the Soul Only yet, it will cover Wellness & Lifestyle, Childhood, Teen hood, & Adulthood.  Along with Weight loss & Spiritual Transformation, Art, Acceptance, Judgment , Growth, Rejection The Love of Music for the Soul, Next up Artist, Inspirational Stories, Self love/hate, Love experiences, Abuse, Depression & Anxiety, Hate experiences, Privilege, Raw vulnerability & caved emotions. Mostly, what you’d dare not say out loud; your secret, his secret, their secret & my own.